I'm the one...

Please don't take this the wrong way because ultimately God is the one to me, but as far as what I am presently experiencing, I'm learning that dependence, or relying on others to be there for you or to fulfill/complete you is a big mistake in certain situations and circumstances. Not that all people are a let down, but people can really hurt you if you allow them to do so...In a nutshell this is a cathartic means of me getting my thoughts together, to sort of make sense. Just in a deep over the head type of way...lol

I'm the ONE

I've searched high and low.
Near and far far away.
Deep in the pit of my soul.
Every direction every way.

I've looked in other ppl to find the source.
I let others use me up, up, up.
Until what I have left is no more.
Bone dry, no more virtue in my cup.

Until the day I finally reallized,
And took a deep look way down inside.
I found inside purpose set before me,
The real me, my soul, the essence, the BEAUTY.

I was so afraid that I wasn't enough, I can't make it.
I don't have what it takes, so I'll just fake it.
Ignoring what I already had for what I said "I need"
Neglecting the fact that what I need, want, desire is already planted within me

The one piece that was missing, hidden amongst the strife,
That I'm the one I've been lookin for my entire life...

Gettin tired

YEA I'M GETTIN' TIRED OF THE BITCH NIGGA'S LIES/ EXCUSES USED TO SOFTEN THE BLOWS AND BLIND MY EYES/ OK HE MAY NOT BE A BITCH, BUT HE PLAYS ONE WELL/ I'M GOING BY HIS ACTIONS AND THAT'S THE STORY THEY TELL/ I'M GETTIN TIRED OF BITCH NIGGAS AS KATT WILLIAMS SAY/ CUZ THEY GETTIN' STRONGER AND STRONGER EVERYDAY/ OFFA DA POWER GIVEN TO THEM BY THE STRONG/ FEEDIN' OFFA PEOPLE LIKE ME AND THAT SHIT IS WRONG/ WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS THAT ALL THE WHILE I SIT BACK AND KNOW/ THAT THE STRENGTH I POSESS IS SLOWLY GOING/ BECAUSE I GIVE AND GIVE THINGS THAT HE DON'T DESERVE/ OVER AND OVER GIVING SHIT THAT HIS ASS AIN'T EARNED/ SO THIS IS THE PLACE @ WHICH I'VE ARRIVED/ IN A PLACE OF RESENTMENT FILLED W/ TEARS, BUT I'M DRYIN' MY EYES/ BECAUSE OUT OF THE MANY THINGS U AIN'T WORTH/ IS MY PRECIOUS TEARS FALLING DOWN TO THE EARTH/ SO IMMA HOLD MY HEAD HIGH/ ASK GOD TO CLEAR MY HEART AND CLEAR MY MIND/
OTHERWISE INSANITY MIGHT ENSUE CAUSING ME TO CLOCK OUT/ I THOUGHT WE HAD POTENTIAL, BUT NOW I HAVE MY DOUBTS/THE ULTIMATE STRUGGLE IN IT ALL IS LETTING GO/ LOOKING PAST THE HURT AND PAIN AND LETTING MATURITY SHOW/ SEE THERES ONE THING THAT THIS WOMAN KNOWS FA SHO/ THAT THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU JUST WALKED OUT THE DOOR/ AND UNLESS THERE IS A CHANGE IN YOUR WAYS/ YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BE LONELY UNTIL YOUR LAST BREATH, ON YOUR LAST DAY/ AND AS FOR MYSELF AND THE COMMITMENT TO YOU I EXPRESSED/ THINKIN' ABOUT THE TIME AND LOVE WASTED CAUSES ME TO REGRET/ THE MOMENT I LET YOU BEGIN TO USE ME UP/ STUPIDLY SUBSTITUTING LUST IN PLACE OF LOVE/ BUT LETS LOOK AHEAD AND NOT LOOK BACK/ I PROMISE TO MYSELF AND MAKE THIS PACT/ I VOW TODAY THAT ON LIFE'S PATH I WILL RECONSIDER/ WHAT ACTIONS TO TAKE WHEN CROSSING PATHS W/ A BITCH NIGGA....

Gettin some things offa my chest...

This is some more stuff that is old that I decided to share with you guys....

So Where do we start? Lots of complicated matters, let's get to the heart...

I've become exactly what I've despised/ So take a listen and see the world thru my eyes/ The girl that your man has on the side/ Yes the other woman is the car I chose to drive/ I know you may say why would you play yourself like that?/ The answer I can give you is what I know to be facts/ He never said he loved me or anything like that/ But, when I'm with him he loves the way I do that../ Thing that I do/ We have our fun together, but I'm jealous of you/ Because you have his heart in your hands/ Knowing this is true is what I can't stand/ I feel like eventually it will be mine/ All it's gonna take is time, and it WILL be mine/ Although I know in the back of my mind/ That in his sky you're a star that shines bright/ The question is then why am I still here?/ The reason why is because in my heart I fear/ That in the end 'll be alone @ the end of the song/ That's why moving on is taking
so long/ I don't wanna be in this situtation/ Sitting up here having illict relations/ Sleeping with a man who is already taken/ Caught up in this fantasy sadly mistaken/ In retrospect doing things that I know I should not/ But what is it going to take for me to stop?

Off the top of my head & from my heart

Man I ain't did this in soooo long I wrote this on 10/10/07 read and gimme ur thoughts!

Thank God for grantin me this moment of clarity...My mind hurts sooo badly right now,I am in love with him and my heart is breaking. Eyes watering uncontrolably, blinding me I cannot see. Emotions haywire because he's all I want to need...Drinking myself into a prison trying to be free.. I want to be free...To live without you in my thoughts my thoughts constantly. Thoughts of you overtaking me and consuming my day. Wishing you would love me and only me. Knowing this will never be a reality. Sticking around waiting for this to materialize, For feelings to be conjured up but realizing it'd all be a lie....

LOVE QUOTES....

I told y'all I think about love and shit like that too damn much, but I felt this quote so tufff HAD to post it!

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

"It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love, there is only an 'on' ramp."

Letter 2 U...

In The Booth Refleckin: Old School Style!

Sooo I can't update mobile rite now :>( but I got an idea while I was in the booth refleckin... WHy not write my thoughts as the day went by and then post them later? Genius right! So then I took it a step further and said, "I have a scanner, so I can scan these mugs and put them online!" Check out my uber cool idea, right chere! Comment Comment Comment!!!

Sittin in the booth refelckin lol

"I've went from being a puny Pawn to being a Rook, I want a man 2 protect me like a King guards his Queen from crooks"
~Me

I'm sitting here in the booth reflecting over some things that are going on in my life right now and thinkin about some ppl in my past...As in lovers. I've had some crazy "situations" transpire in just the last 2 years. I'm pretty much hip 2 the games that are 2 be played, not that I know it all, but I'm pretty well versed in the language of trysts, "arrangments", and unfortunately being the other woman. Out of all of this there has been 1 constant and that is me. I've learned a lot about myself in this time and one thing I found out is that I don't want to be that girl anymore. It's time for me 2 grow up and a lot of ppl will say well that is getting your "grown woman" on, getting what u want and not caring about the damage u do to yourself or others. A lot of women think they are damaged goods because of some man, not realizing the fact that you had a part in putting yourself into harm's way...

I am one to always acknowledge and take accountability for my part in things. If I had to testify in the mirror, I would'nt plead the 5th knowing I took part in the mess I helped to create. I don't find it incriminating to admit fault because if u can't tell yourself the truth then who can you tell it to? That being said old habits die hard, but eventually there comes a time in your life to where u to 2 step your game up in life... I'm vastly approaching that time and embrace it with both arms open wide to receive what is to come...

Fw: Internet Fu*kery part 3: I didn't wanna tell u

Fuckery n. derivative of the word fuck Absolute bullshit; utter nonsense; something rather suspicious that can bring forth uneasy, angry, or irritated feelings. The stunt pulled by people who don't know how to tell the truth or enjoy messing with people's heads as a hobby. From UrbanDictionary.com

Ahhh now this 1 isn't really completly all internet fu*kery but it sure did start there! This is #4 we'll call this one....

4. "Mr. I didn't wanna tell u..."- this is the one that with withold MAJOR shit from u until it's 2 damn late for u 2 just let it slide. Mostly it is done to "spare" your feelings or becuz they thought you would NEVER find out. They will also try 2 play u like ur a plumb dumb fool and say they told u b4! At this point u have now invested ur time, energy and a lot of urself into this person and creating a relationship. Examples of information being withheld are: I have children. (Twinz!?! And we've been talking for about 2 mths? I thought I told u?, uh hell no u did'nt!) Or I had sex w/ur cousin (in the middle of us doin it and then he proceeds to tell you that u look like her, and he can't do it... But we already started muthatrucka!!!) Yeah that type of ish... LOL

Internet Fu*kery pt 2: Breaking news!

Fuckery n. derivative of the word fuck Absolute bullshit; utter nonsense; something rather suspicious that can bring forth uneasy, angry, or irritated feelings. The stunt pulled by people who don't know how to tell the truth or enjoy messing with people's heads as a hobby. From UrbanDictionary.com

This 1 is pretty personal! I'm not doin it becuz my feelings are hurt, but more so to give an example of how easy it is to peep dumb niggas shit! Read On:

So dude that is from my "undercover booty call" and "try again" post tried 2 send me so tuff. Now my girl told me he was tryna play me sometime ago, but this dude is off the wall!! I think he mad becuz I would'nt let him hit more than once or sumthin who the fuck knows!! For all intents and purposes of this post he will be reffered 2 as type #3 "Mr. Bitchassness" in this post... Lemme introduce u real quick..

3. "Mr. Bitchassness"- one exhibiting characterisics of one infected with "bitchassness" see def. below

Bitchassness: n. newly discovered disease running rampant, especially in our young ppl. symptoms include: 1.punkish tendencies see pussy or pussy nigga 2. cattiness, such as talking behind someone's back 3. thinking highly of yourself, but only expressing it under your breath 4.claiming "hurt feelings" when you are called out on your bullshit Robert of Making the Band 4

"Bitchassness is a disease...and it fucks shit up..."
From Urban Dictionary.com

------ Original note ------

From: Mr. Bitchassness
To: Friend*
Subject:
You f*cks with that dark skinned girl that's in the background of like all of your pics. (Talking about me! Lmao. I'm in the background of ALL her pics, ok)

------ Original note ------

From: *friend
To: "Mr. Bitchassness"
Subject: Re:
Black is beautiful! That is my sista! Why?

------ Original note ------

From: "Mr. Bitchassness"
To: *friend
Subject: Re: Re:
Blood Sista!!!??!!? yoU GOTTA BE KIDDING
((You can't b fuggin serious! This dude is super clowning me now))

------ Original note ------

From: *friend
To: "Mr. Bitchassness"
Subject: Re: Re:
Not blood but as close to blood as you can get without being blood. Why you tryina blast her though?

------ Original note ------

From: "Mr. Bitchassness"
To: *friend
Subject: Re: Re:
Nawh believe me, she is not going to take up any more of my time.(Nigga we did'nt talk 4 a whole month!!) MOVING ON. From your pics you look like you're alot of fun, are you moreplan everything out or spontaneous??!! What's the wildest thing you've ever did?

------ Original note ------

From: *friend
To: "Mr. Bithchassness"
Subject: Re: Re:
Why is that man? You say it as if she was a waste of time? How do I look fun? I'm more spontaneous because I don't take the time to plan things like I should. I have somewhat if a plan at times though. The wildest thing I've ever done was climb from under a rock!

------ Original note ------

From: "Mr. Bitchassness"
HOnestly I think shemight be a greatperson justnot forme,but anyway Everytime I come pass your page I'm like DAMN. I wanted to F8ckwith you but that body is so banging You probablymake niggas bust just touchin it...... and it lookl ikey ou got that wet sh1t thats a bad combination. Im surprised you ain't got some nigga laid out some where p@ssy whipped.
(No words @ fucking all!)

Yo so he tried to super duper clown me over some bulll ish 4 real. I hadn't talked 2 him 4 about mmm bout a mth and here he come wit this. I wanted to call him soooo bad and tell him off, but I'm not that kind of girl, lol.

This is why I'm not on Blackplanet anymore becuz most dudes on there are dawgs, u go from me to my friend and she just said we are like sisters? Go dig me a fuggin hole and bury me because I'm *dead* lmao. And just to let guys/men/boyz know, chicks/women/girlz talk, so watch ur step or u may get your game put on blast.....

OOOOh on to good news.......

Preview of the "Love My BODY" photoshoot/post....

Preview from the "Love My Body" photoshoot! More 2 come soon!!

Why I love my fam!

Just in case y'all didn't know becuz I aint tell y'all I started my new job 2 day. Its as a parking attendant on OSU's campus. This is a convo b/w me and my Aunt Niecy talkin bout my 1st day or 1st hour lol @ work read from the bottom up!

*End of Convo*
Me:
I LOVE YOU TOO AUNTIE!!! And I will be getting that dvd player up off of u!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
----------------

From: Auntie
Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2008 09:02:16
To: Me
Subject: Re: Yea

I like what you said, work through it to get where you need to be........................
Sometimes we move out of the order that God has purposed for us. Then he will allow things to happen
for us to learn from or humble us, determine what your lesson is from this experience in order to become the
best Shay you can be!

Auntie loves you very much and I only want the best for you!

BTW (btw) since your in a booth all day, think about packing your lunch, snacks, my dvd player & some movies and a
good book to read!

Love, Aunt Niecy

12/03/2008 08:42 AM
From Me
To "Auntie"
Subject Re: Yea

I believe that myself, that's why I can't even complain about it. I just have to work through it to get to what I want. And no God did not make me one that is able to live w/o a car!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
----------------
From: Auntie
Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2008 08:35:03
Subject: Re: Yea

This job is your humbling experience, your next blessing is right around the corner. Hang in the there to keep some
money in your pocket & to pay your car payment, Lord knows YOU can't live without some wheels!

Love, Auntie

12/03/2008 08:30 AM
To "Mommy", "Auntie"

Subject: Yea
Its a job as a parking garage attendant so just collecting payment for parking in a booth, I am so hungry because I didn't prepare and bring food to the booth with me! This is truly a job for the anti-social....BORING. But I appreciate it.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

My Husband according 2 a test...

I took one of them little online quizzes and here's what they told me lol...

You Should Marry: The Romantic Overachiever He's Crude, Direct, and Loving Often times this guy will be a genius in his own right, and has a certain swagger about him. He has a grand notion of romance and love, but also of life and success. His own goals and talents can often intersect with the competing interests of companionship and loyalty. This guy believes in complex and deep relationships with many people. In a group, he may be looked at as a leader or relatively high in the pecking order. His ambition, sociability, personality make this guy well-liked. He'll give women his love, but with it they agree to a lifestyle that may not be suitable for the unprepared passenger.

5*02*08 He don't know

Loving hard is such a crazy thing
Especially when the one you love is oblivious
Knowing by face but not by name
Not familiar with my love, driving me insane
He knows but he don't really know how deep and far my love will go.
I want for there to be more, for intimacy to take place
To be the one you know can never be replaced
I know you're that one for me truly sent from above
To rescue me from my past forays in love
He knows but he don't really know how deep and far my love will go.
What I mean when I say this is you know that love for you is there
But this kinda love is so precious and rare
The kind that never fails and hopes for the best
Goes to lengths to never be attained by the rest
He knows but he don't even know how deep and far my love will go.
You may think you know but you have no idea....

Change 4 U

Worth every minute, every second
Each frame of time with u is a blessing
I want to take things slow, is that cool?
You got me thinkin I can change 4 u

Predestined our paths crossing in life
Like no person I've ever encountered b4
A privilege to recieve the things you do
You got me thinkin I can change 4 u

I just wanna focus on the beauty that is u
Your spirit, ur aura. I'm enjoying the view
My life force, my king, more than just my boo
Not thinkin but knowing that I can change 4 u

Just Mythoughts: Slippin on my pimpin!!

Please excuse me guys, the internet fu*kery entry will be up soon! But as any other night, like many of you, I am layin in the bed thinking. I have a certain someone that I am talking to that I've taken up an interest in. And I know that he likes me too. He's actually a very very good guy. He listens when I have problems, I listen when he has his. He is very polite and strictly a gentleman. Sounds great 4 ur gurl right? Wellllllll here's the problem, I kinda feel like its 2 good 2 be true, like I don't deserve it and right now I'm not wanting to let go of doing me, but I can feel the end of this form of selfishness coming 2 an end. I want to "Share My World" give a part of me 2 someone else and expect the same in return. Actually to give my all to a man... But I won't make any steps 2 do so because I'm scared to just lose control, or the so-called-upperhand in the situation. This
pattern of behavior hasn't failed me yet, according to what I know, but I think I will be messed up in 2 months when he's with another chick and I'm still alone. By alone I mean desiring a companion to fufill my emotional, spiritual, physical needs. Which he does in a way... The thing I don't wanna do is RUSH which I can say I've been taking it super slow on this. I'm really tryna play my cards smart and not make a mistake. Because in this case its a heart @ stake. I'm scared that umma fuck up, although I know that past behavior is simply the past and that I can't use it as a mesuaring stick. As a person that is constantly maturing, I do my damndest not to repeat stuff and learn my lesson. Well more later! Holla @ me!!

Laid up in the bed...

So right now I'm having some issues in life! Man I'm just in the midst of a really big transition as far as being a more responsible adult, deciding whether or not I should move out of my parents crib, tryna go to school, tryna find a job, paying bills, gettin my credit str8, preparing for my husband to find me, tryna find out what I wanna be.... It's really easy but yet I seem to be finding it soooo hard rite now. I keep trying to find things to help me out in this move, but NOTHING is working @ all. I'm really in a place to where it could be worse, but it is pretty bad rite now. I won't complain tho because its pretty much bad for everyone in a way right now. I just need help, and not just to get my mind off of my problems by running away. I need help to turn my situation around, to pick me up off of my tail because I've fallen. This is definitely a humbling experience for me in many
ways. Its time to get rid of the pride, selfishness and childish things in my life. It has helped me to fully realize how much my people really love me and will hold me down, and what work I still have to do within myself to keep focus on what is important. No job, money, man, sex, nothing is going to get me thru this. I've been surviving on little to no money with the help of my parents, brother, grandmother, my aunt, and my bff... I just can't live this way any longer. I got too much get up and get out to be sittin on my tail @ home anymore. Its just reallly discouraging when you have been looking for a job for almost 2 months 2 be told no, or that u have 2 much experience. I just want to be happy, and do what makes me happy. I've almost forgotten what makes me happy at times. I'm nowhere near depressed, but if I just sit around and do nothing then my problems could easily consume me
But I am too strong for that. I was built for hardship, trials and tribulation. I can weather this storm in my life and I will make it out a better person. So again I can't run away or hide from these things, I must face them with the strength I know that I have inside and press on... I'm sayin a whole that u already know, but simply put I need your help and I need it badly. The thing is that you know exactly what I need and ur alwayz on time so umma just be patient and wait it out while minimizing distractions, because I need to focus on you and not just myself. Lord I just need some help!
Sincerly,
Marshay.

Internet fu*kery pt 1: Me friend es su friend...Whaaat?!?

Fuckery
n. derivative of the word fuck Absolute bullshit; utter nonsense; something rather suspicious that can bring forth uneasy, angry, or irritated feelings. The stunt pulled by people who don't know how to tell the truth or enjoy messing with people's heads as a hobby.

From UrbanDictionary.com

Aye what up y'all! Right now I'm on location at the OSU Michigan game, selling parking tickets lol... Sike naw I am starting my series on Internet fuckery and the participants in such a sad cycle.

This post is about ppl and why they gotta make ur friend's friends be their friends* lol. Primarily what we'll talk about are ppl that use you to get to your friend¤. This is something that has to me a couple of times and each time it gets worse and worse. Let's start @ one....

1. "I'm interested": Mr. or Mz. I'm intersted is just intrigued by the prospect of new eye candy pretty much. They say things like "Oh what's your friend's name" or "Does such and such have a man/woman" these are acceptable and welcome questions that don't creep one out. I like for ppl to think my friends are nice and look good, shoot that means I got good taste! But then there's the...

2. "We were friends* 1st!": "We were friends* 1st!" Has a different story! They were friends* with your actual physical human being friend online they were friends with you. Then you came along and they up in ur face. NOW all of a sudden they hear u talk about ur friend¤ and their all like "aww how is Taquenesha?" or "Where do she stay @ again?" A lil bit toooo personal buddy! Mayb they will try 2 test ur friendship¤ and say things like this to ur her...

-"Can I come over and borrow some eggs, I have a hankering for an omelet"(Wtf)
~OR~
-"Me and u were friends* b4 I met Shay so she should cool wit it...(Wth)

*Internet buddies not actual friends that have ever met, EVER!!
¤The real friendship as in real life not the pretend ish!

So needless to say that's that certified bullshyt right there for real...Using 1 to get to another's friend is an el-lame to the 1000th power!!! And they act like females don't TALK 1 another... I say another bites the dust!

Well Imma save some for later soo please wait there's more....

Tell me what's really good wit y'all!

I'm movin on...

This post is about moving onto bigger better things which I am in the process of doing! Enjoy ;>)

Can't let my feet stop too long and make their home right here
Gotta keep on pressin onwards thru the pain and thru the tears
If I don't make it happen nobody else will
Be lookin back filled w/ regrets, wasted years

Gotta forgive and forget, the 1 w/o sin cast the 1st stone
I'm gonna keep pushin I won't stay here got be movin on
Aint no stoppin me now I'm wiser, stronger, better
I've been held back long enough, I've learned my lesson

So farewell to inhibition and fear; setbacks along the way
Looking forward to 2mrw because it's a brand new day
Walking with new feet, the soundtrack of my life upbeat
Seeing life with new eyes, I can now see the sunshine

Self Destruction

Self Destruction


So right now I'm utterly confused and @ a loss for words. The very thing I hoped would'nt happen to us has. You've left me all alone and now I'm sad. I thought you would choose me. A future together is what I tried to make you see. In the end it was another woman you chose. So please tell me why am I in your bed with no clothes?

The answer is exactly you may have already surmised. It's that I'd fallen in love when I looked in your eyes. Your beauty inside has me fully enamored. Like an inebriated woman, you've got me hammered. Tripping, falling, so gone I can't get up. So captivated by your lovin' I feel like I'm stuck. Not wanting to hurt myself, But when I'm around you I can't help it. I wanna please you in any way I can. Fulfill your needs baby I want you to be MY man...

All the while I was busy lovin' you/ I found out you in fact were busy too/ Not busy because you were lovin' me back/ Oh no, that ain't the trick you had in the bag!/ No surprise to my intuition which had figured out the mystery/ That you had another woman lovin' you too, one from your history/ The thing about her is her love you returned/ And now I'm out in da cold feelin' burned/ Raw inside, desperate and feelin' hurt/ Not knowin' which way is up or where to turn..

So naturally my inclination is to run to you/ To continue on in the pattern of confusion/ The destructive cycle that is killing my soul/ This where I'm back in your bed with no clothes/ Repeating over again the same offense/ If this were jail I'd be in for recidivism/ And this is jail in an emotional sense/ Imma be in until I learn the lesson/ Only I can determine the length of this sentence/ When we are thru and when we'll be finished/ I need to move on with my life and clear my head/ I need to go on and get out of this bed

ROTFL: Aaron Mcgruder website!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0H5Qp8KDao

Sexy MuthaSHUTyoMOUF!!!!!: Clinton Portis

How 2 spot a undercover booty call...

First and foremost I will say this, I think it's funny when u see a name or # (becuz u deleted the name) pop up and u already know the person on the other end aint called u 2 talk about ish! I live 4 these moments, especially when u are so over that person and don't want anything 2 do with them anymore. This is going to be a single scenario that I encountered 2day...

*phone rings*
ShayB: hello?
Clr: hey how are u?
S: oh I'm doing good how r u?
Clr: oh I'm good I don't want nuthin just callin 2 check on u see what ur up 2...

AND PAUSE.... U don't care about my personal life or me for that matter becuz u can go weeks on end w/o calling me. OBVIOUSLY ur coochie connect is not workin on the other side of town so now u callin me? NEXT!

AND PLAY... The conversation was wrapped up with super duper small talk and its undesired effect was not only beatin up my ears but using 5 mins of my precious monthly allotment! Next time somebody is getting THE VMAIL baby!

Introspective thoughts from the middle of nowhere...

This post is inspired or contrived from some things that I've encountered through conversations, interactions, encounters all a part of life experience...

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine last night and we talked about a loooottt of stuff! We talked about you know things that we was goin thru and got on the subject of love. Love and relationships is something that is kinda close to my heart. Not just romantic, but platonic, mother-daughter, etc... But here goes some of my thoughts on some things that came up...

The thing that a lot of people have lost touch with in these times is appreciation and hope. Appreciation because a lot of folks barely value themselves, so they don't place much value or merit in other people. And since they don't feel that way about themselves, they lose hope that they will find someone else to do the same for them. Mainly because the philosiphy excercised by humans is u give what u get. Most people don't give valuable things to someone that is undeserving and irresponsible. People operating under common sense that is...lol



I myself anticipate and sometimes ache for the day that I can give somebody the best of me. I am finding myself being able to wait because I'm not into the whole heartbreak thing. Especially for someone that was'nt right for me in the 1st place. Well that's all I have 4 now, umma come back @ y'all later!

Simply Beautiful...

Our President and his wife!! Something that I have a soft spot in my heart for is marriage. My own parents have been married for 21 years and counting (YES!) and are still going strong. It's the kind of love little girls dream about, women wish for. I love to see LOVE and us being able to see BLACK LOVE and not the stereotypical FLAVOR OF LOVE as that example makes my heart soar! This woman stood by her man's side when he was well known, or famous, nationally recongnized...

God only knows what things they have had to endure together as a couple to get to where they are now. It makes me happy to see how much he loves and adores her as well as how much she loves and adores him. Love in it's truest form. You can just see it all over their faces and in their interactions. That's the LOVE I aspire to have and will have when it's time. Unconditional, unwavering LOVE. Agape.

Kicks and Giggles (ROTFL): Lebron and Nicole Sherzinger

Overwhelmed!!

This is sooooo real 2 me rite now. What my grandfather, great grandfather and those before him fought for. The Civil rights movement, Vietnam, World war II, Slavery all for this!!! The victory is so much sweeter than the struggle, the beautiful plight and struggle that we as a people and I mean black people are concerned. This is soooo amazing, spectacular, breathtaking!!! I'm @ a loss for words utterly speechless. Obama has 174 electoral votes!! To McCain's 64!! He only needs 96 more and its a wrap!!! My God!

Vote for change rally: Columbus, Ohio!!

OBAMA rally feat. jay-z and diddy from L Carter on Vimeo.
MAD LOVE TO MIRRORLOVE PRODUCTIONS!!!!

Countdown to Change Rally in Columbus
Mayme Moore Park at Martin Luther King Jr. Performing and Cultural Arts Complex
867 Mount Vernon Avenue
Columbus, OH
Monday, November 3rd
Doors open 5:30 p.m.


Monday, November 3rd, I witnessed the Ohio Campaign for Change for a Countdown to Change Rally! The guest speakers were Mary J Blige, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, Sean "Diddy" Combs, and Kevin Liles. Anybody who missed the rally did just that, missed it!(I missed the statehouse speech with Obama yesterday and i must say I was depressed!!) The energy that I felt was so moving! Everyone young and old, big and small, short and so damn tall I could'nt see, was there... It was soo inspiring to be there and a part of the movement to have our FIRST black president elected...The unity and dedication to the cause of getting this man in the white house was deeply rooted and felt amongst everyone in the crowd (even the naysayers, of which I am a friend lol)

It was the most moving feeling seeing my brothas and sisters unite although the smell of dog poo and black and mild smoke choking me out (and I just stopped smoking!!) Something that really hit my ears was something said by the host of the event Konata Holland of 107.5, he said "They keep tryna scare us with lines when we've stood in lines for the hottest Jordan's, the T.I. concert and much much more" (not a direct quote) Essentially we can stand and brave those lines to get our voices heard!!! I've done it for things way less important....

*On a sad note it was announced that Barack's grandmother had just passed.... There was a moment of silence held in her honor. She won't be here in person to witness history, but I'm sure her presence will be felt. Condolences and prayers are being lifted up for the family now as we speak...

I'm really only gonna touch on what hit my ears the most which is this from my twitter posts:

10 min ago Rally over... Lol about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(I was standing around fellowshipping with the brethren lol)

Bey just got on the mic real quick! about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(She ain't say 2 much, gotta love her!!)

"Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther could walk Martin walked so Barack could run Barack is running so our children could fly!!!" Jay Z about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(Yes Jay-Z is quoting a massssss text fwd, but it's a good one lol)

I can't even talk I'm speechless.... about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(I really was, I could'nt hear a damn thing! People was throwin up their Roc signs and buzzin the whole time he was talkin!!!)

JayZ and Beyonce is here!!! about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(I did'nt use the correct word, should've been are! I was too geeked...)

Puffy says he told someone he wanted to be a garbage man because @ the time he did'nt believe it was possible to b prez... Look @ God! about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(Says they asked him that in the 3rd grade and he really wanted to say the first black president, awww how cute....)

Making noise for Martin Luther King the originator of the dream... about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(Obama making the dream happen!)

Swagger like Puff blastin on the system!!! about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry

Diddy bout to hit the stage baby. Mary loves him... about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(She still call him Puffy, shows how close they are... She really loves this man, and I love her)

"We have the power to build and destroy" Mary J. Blige about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(So very true my sista!!! Most of us don't know it yet...)

Mary is on stage y'all! about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry

Kevin Liles is on the stage imma make it happen person baby! about 3 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(Kevin Liles talkin about people that let things happen to them, people that watch things happen and people that make things happen!)

Sitting up here @ da Obama rally w/ Jay-Z Mary J Blige and Diddy. Mayor Coleman just stepped off the stage bout 10 min ago... about 4 hours ago from TwitterBerry
(He told us to get our chairs out and wait it out!)

OBAMA rally feat. jay-z and diddy from L Carter on Vimeo.

Guess God was tryna tell me something...

Man, I can't believe this
I'm not supposed to be living like this
I'm messed up

Thought it was fun,Thought I could do what I want
And I, thought I was grown and could make it on my own,I thought no one really understands me
And, even though home, I feel so alone
I thought, like do what cha you feel like doing no one cares anyway maybe then someone will notice you.

Now how I ended up where I am? I don't knowI never planned on being here (and now I see what the problem is)
The devil tempted me and I was drawn away.
But I have no desire to stay! Oh!!Got to get out of here (I'm coming home father)
I got to get out of here
I wanna be with you

Can't believe what I got myself in to,Thought I had everything under control, (guess not)
I didn't realize the whole time,That the enemy had plans to destroy my life, (try to take me out)
Father please wont you have mercy on me (please)
Please forgive me and restore you joy.
I can't imagine staying here until I die
I got to get back to your side (I wanna be with you father, now I realize)
The devil tempted me and I was drawn away.
But I have no desire to stay! Oh!!

Got to get out of hereI got to get out of hereI wanna be with you(Father I know I messed up but I'm asking you to please! Take me back)
Got to get out of here (I repent father)
I got to get out of here (Yah! I'm coming home)
I wanna be with you…(I wanna be with you Jesus, anyone want to be with the Lord? Here we go sing)
Got to get out of here (Ohhhoohh)
I got to get out of hereI wanna be with you (please take me back [x3]… I'm sick of this stuff)
Got to get out of here (pleassse)
I got to get out of here (I'm sick of my old ways)
I wanna be with you (I want to be with you, take me back Lord I am ready for change)
Got to get out of here (pleassse)
I got to get out of here (anyone going back to the father house with me)
I wanna be with you (come on and go with me [x3]… with me to the Fathers house lets go)

Laid up in da bed... Why am I awake!!!

So I'm layin in the bed listening to Musiq Soulchild on my lil zune pillow at the moment, chillin like a mug. But why the hell have I been up since 5:45??? That has been happening 4 the last 2 nights just can't get back 2 sleep... Maybe God is tryna tell me sumthin, "WhoKnows"? Lol. I have a job fair to go to today. Oh yea just in case I didn't tell u I am currently unemployed, but I will be getting a job soon and very soon baby. I don't wanna be stuck on the phone doing customer service again though man... I did get an offer from DSW that'd b cool though. And I'm temping too hopefully that works out for a sista. I think imma look into some creative writing classes or sumthin, look into some freelancing of some sort. I'd love to do something where creativity, individuality were the axis on which the job operated. That'd b the coolest. Photography, make up artist, music, design I do
some things, but I have a lot to learn. I put in work tho baby!! Well this is actually making me sleepy so goodbye. *kisses*

OH YES!!! IfULeave Musiq Soulchild feat. Mary J. Blige

Two of my favorite singers, especially MARY! She is looking soo good these days!! Better than some chicks 10 yrs younger!

I love the concept of them talking to their own significant others not each other, what a fresh concept!

"Try Again", a post inspired by life....

Ahhhhh this song just says so many things to me man. There have been so many times when I myself have found myself in the position of the one "trying again". The question that this songs sparks in my mind is, but @ what cost to me??? What am I sacrificing for this person and was it really worth it in the first place. Case in point, a man I was talking to just had it all, just perfect! He was going to school to get his PhD., very very very smart, intellectual, articulate and he was sooo beautiful. Just massive amounts of potential... We hit it off really well, wonderful conversation, just a great guy.

He had some family issues going on that he needed to get squared away so I gave him his space, you know. I know he was going thru a lot at the time because this was like a major thing going on with his family. I'd call and check up on him, just anything to try to get that intial spark going into a blaze. In the meantime I talked to other people, which was over the course of a month or so. So we never really conversed AT ALLL after our initial conversation.

So long story short we had one of those "first-time-I-said-no-it's-like-I never-said-yes" situations that got blown way outta porportion. And at first I was so kicking myself in the pants because I wanted him. Everything his future and potential promised him to be. I blew up his phone that night!!! I called him like 20+ times, which I have never done b4! But then I turned my attention to the potential stumbling blocks...

If he could be self absorbed and selfish enough to turn the whole thing on me and not take any accountability for the lack of communication and interaction I choose to pass... It was'nt worth the heartache and bs I would have to cope with, just to have the most intelligent, sexy, intelligent man I have encountered in my life lol.

Well I've said enough, Do you have any "Try Again" situtations???

"Try Again" Raheem DeVaughn

Try Again
by yardie4lifever2



I thought id hear your voice (hello, hello, hello)
But instead the operator says your number's changed
My apologies (my apologies)
Please forgive me please
For I've been selfish and I'm to blame
If I could reverse the years (If I could reverse the years)
To take back all the tears
I'd rewrite the screenplay
But life don't work that way (what you mean it don't work that way?)
So lonely here I lay
Wishing you was still my lady
[Chorus:]When it's not easy to walk away (try, try, try, try again)
When you don't really mean what you say (try, try, try, try again)
When you feel incomplete
Don't you go losing sleep
I think you should try again
Can we try again?
Try again

The perfume you used to wear (the sweet perfume you used to wear)
Sometimes I smell it in the air... and do a double take
And sometimes I play your song (sometimes I play your song)
Just to dance along
Just to cut the pain
Please forget me not (don't forget, don't forget, don't forget, don't forget me)
If ever you should tie the knot
Or just find somebody new
I hope this rights the wrongs that I've done
See I composed this song
Cause it's hell without you.

[Chorus]

See winter's too cold without you
Summer too lonely without you
And I can't stop thinking about you
Can we try again?
Oh fall that's when we met
Spring it was times I can't forget
My Cinderella, my Juliet
Can we try again?

The biggest greatest smile.

Your golden brown visage brings the most immense joy induced by a human being. Your essence permeates my very being infiltrating me to the core, makes me wanna sing. Sweet sweet melodies, sweeping me off my feet. Feet off the ground, swept off my feet. I'm on cloud 99 not 9, that aint high enough. My soul unravels and flutters at the sight. The way I feel now can't nobody kill this high. No buzz, no food nor drug can propel me to this stratosphere. Your aura of regality the most seducing atmosphere. No touch can compete with the way u got me feel-ling... All from the privlege of beholding the biggest, greatest smile.
~ShayBraeB08(c)

Not the one

Baby this relationship has run its course
So I gotta let you go, to stay it would be forced
Love is a delicate thing so imma tell u this once
That you can't keep me here no matter how much you want
If you ever loved me you'd just let go
Because if I come back then that's how you'd know
That it was meant to be, a you and me
But, for the time being I gotta do this for me
Its not any fault of your own I gotta move on
Because I know deep in my heart that you're not the one
So rather than pretend or just play along
Looking the part but not real, a perfect mirage
We need to separate and go our different paths
Because love is a permanent bond meant to last
I don't wanna pull at your heart strings anymore
It may not seem like it hurts me but trust me it hurts more
I've simply reconciled to the facts so stark and plain
That true love does'nt wait for time or play games
Our love, not really love, certainly categorized as lust
Had us gassed up blazing the trail straight into unhappiness
So long story short I need the one tailor-made for Marshay
And you need the one with your rib to walk your way
So enough is enough the charade is over
No more time to play games
I'm moving on, finally my mind is sober
And I hope u do the same

~ShayBraeB08(c)

Be ShayBe...

I have many many many nicknames that have been given to me over the years. The one I commonly use is Shaybe in some variation or form, ShayBraeB, Shayberaebaby, or ShayB. Everyone always asks me what does that mean? Shay be what?!? Lol, and I'm always like I dunno, because I've always just been Shaybe... I heard something the other down that gave me some meaning for this name that I've carried my entire life... Shay Be Yourself, Be ShayBe. Be what God made you to be. My name broken down. And this gave me so much revelation and purpose into what I've heard trillions and trillions of times. BE YOURSELF! My friend quotes this all the tyme "I'd rather be original, than die a copy". So this will be the alias I'm going under for this blog and the meaning that I plan to carry throughout the rest of my existence.

Getting to know me: XANGA!

Welcome to my getting to know me post!! This is to show that I'm So I told u guys that this was'nt my first blog!! Click the link to see my first baby

Also see some of my early work I was a lil cuss boxx lol this was 3 YEARS AGO!!! Crazy huh????

Sunday, August 14, 2005
Boy you're not worth my tears or time/ you and your lame ass lines/ but yet I took it time after time/ Oops my bad on my part/ I let you break my heart but you just made me a lil bit more smart/ Your game was fucked up/ All them times that you hung up on me/ And you thought you was still gettin' some bootee?/ No you got the game all fucked up and twisted/ Pimpology 101 was you in class or did you miss it?/ A real man knows how to handle his/ You're still a fuckin' boy you either hit or miss/ You play the same childish games, they're all the same/ That's why I won't pick the phone up when I see your name......
Another one off the top of my head from my heart to you.....
8/14/2005 Marshay Rae' Wilson

I'm feelin' it: Beyonce is a freaking genius for this!!!!

Beyonce is a freaking genius for this!!!! If she's doing what it looks like she is doing then I will appreciate her genius that much more! Now for those of you who did'nt know Beyonce is not the only one that capatilizies off of her sucess as a multi-platinum recording artist! No there is also Sasha, Bey's alter ego that takes the ride along with her on the daily! Well rumor is that she is releasing her upcoming cd as a double disc entitled "I am" to be unleashed on December, 18th featuring songs from both Beyonce and Sasha... This is said to be her most personal release as of late. Can u say T.I. vs T.I.P.????

Don't get me wrong I got MAD love for Bey and Sasha son!! This idea is definitely a fantasic one especially for an artist of Beyonce's caliber. Recently I was confused like why is she releasing 2 singles and videos back 2 back??? But now it makes perfect sense!!! Check out the video's on deck!!!

• Beyoncé
• New Music

I think that Sasha Beyonce is a bad bitch for wearin that leotard and dancin her tail off the whole damn video!! Her dancing and vocal skills are off the hook. The single ladies song is very catchy and WILL be hot in the club but lacks the major substance that Beyonce is claiming to be moving towards… “Like A Boy” certainly makes up for that though, it has great lyrics and the imagery shown along with the lyrics bring more depth to the song….

• Beyoncé
• New Music

If she's doing a dual personality album that'll be very interesting to see, because she is definitely going to capaitalize off of the people that want to see both sides of her....

Has swag gone too far?????

Sooo today I went out of town to pick up my cousin from WSU. On the way down the highway while doing 80 mph in a 65 (lol), I spot a Red Eclipse coasting down the highway in the lane next to me. As the vehicle approached me I got a glimpse of the people in it and it was two white chicks that looked like they were probably about 19, 20 years old. As the car zipped by me, I looked at the back windshield, because the red writing on the glass grabbed my attention... It screamed at me "SWAG SO RIGHT BITCH!". This caused me to immediately pick up my blackberry curve to call my bff to let her know what I had just witnessed. I was laughing so hard that I could barely recall what digits I needed to dial.....!


****FOR INTENTS AND PURPOSES THE WORD "SWAGGER" WILL ONLY BE REFFERED TO AS "THE WORD" IN THIS POST!!!****
(I'm tryna wean myself off of "THE WORD" lol)

Well I just know if the THE WORD or the many alternate forms of it are getting on your last nerve. To me that was the straw that broke the camels back 2day lol. Just the sight of that caused me to be thrown overboard lol. As I've seen on a couple of other blogs, I think we need to replace "THE WORD" because it's getting old to me! The english language has many many synonyms for "THE WORD" and I think we should try those!!! It started wearing on me when Diddy used it ever so excessively on MTB4 and the many swagger songs (damn I said "THE WORD"!!) that follwed... What y'all think???????
_______________________________________________

1,304 images on Photobucket tagged to swagger..
4,660 videos tagged on YouTube ...

@ least one book "Advance your swagger" by Fonzworth Bentley....

Too many damn shirts and pieces of apparel to count.....
4,810,000 results on "THE WORD" from Google and this is ONE MORE! lol
______________________________________

P.S. MISS INFO HAD ME DYIN OVER THIS COMMENT SHE MADE ABOUT A LITTLE PEACE OF HER SOUL DIES EVERY TIME SHE SAYS "THE WORD" LMAO!

Kicks and giggles (ROTFL)!: Wild'n Out: Katt Williams

WILD'N OUT! Does this joint still come on??? I don't know for real cuz I don't watch TV all like that no more. Imma have plenty of time 4 that in the next week or two, because I'm currently unemployed, by choice though I ain't get fired! We'll talk later bout that! But this show had some hilarious moments on it. This video is one that someone took the time to compile some of the funniest moments featuring Katt Williams. This dude is silly as a mug, ENJOY!!!

I'm feelin it : "La La" Tha Carter III

So first off while I'm talkin about Wayne I must mention the fact that some of his actions that disturb me lol. Mainly being the newest song release "Swagger jackin from us" along with Jim Jones and Juelz Santana. The only thing I'll talk about is the fact that the man was on the original "Swagger like us"! That perplexes me to no avail... The swagger jackin thing will be our next post though. I wanna say that I'm not on the Lil Wayne bandwagon, nor am I a hater, but I think he's kinda crazy and has personal problems. I will say that this dude was spittin on that metaphorical shit in this song for real... Whoever wrote this was not on earth, they were on some me, myself and I, outta this world type of shit. lol. Take a listen and see if you can follow the man.....

Excuse me!!!

I gotta find a new background when I get home so in the meantime I apologize 4 u having to look @ the bandwidth exceeded message!!! Peace love and sooouuulll!

I'm feelin' it: "She Got Her Own"

Ahhhh yessss!!! My favorite new soooonnnggg! I love this video and song sooo very much!!! The words are so uplifting and true to me in a sense! I believe that there is a certain degree of dependence that a woman should have in a man, but you must also have something of your own. I am NOT the gold digging type in any way shape or form. I would'nt take advantage of a man even if he let me... Trust me I've been in the position to abuse the privilege! Chivilary is not truly dead I see glimmers of it everyday from a man holding the door, the one pulling out the door. So men please don't take a woman's stance of independence as a "she don't need me..". Embrace the fact that she has her own thing going on and cover her because from a woman who has "her own", I do need Y-O-U!!

[Jamie Foxx]

I love her cause she got her own/ She don't need mine, so she leave mine alone/ There ain't nothing in this world sexy/ Than a girl that want but don't need me/ Young independent, yea she work hard/ But you can tell from the way that she walk/ She don't slow down cause she ain't got time/ To be complaining, shawty gon shine/ She don't expect nothing from no guy/ She plays agressive, but she still shy / But you never know her softer side/ By lookin in her eyes/ The way she can do for herself/ Makes me wanna give her my wealth/ Only kinda girl I want/ Independent queen workin for her throne/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it

[Ne-Yo]

(I love this whole verse!)

I love it cause she got her own/ She don't need mine, so she leave mine alone/ There ain't nothin thats more sexy/ Than a girl that want, but don't need me/ Lovely face/ Nice thick thighs/ Plus she got drive that matches my drive/ Sexy Thang/ She's McFly/ All the while payin the bills on time/ She don't look at me like Captain Save Em/ Gold Diggin, no she don't do that/ No she look at me like inspiration/ She wanna be complimentin my swag/ And everything she got, she work for it, good life made for it/ She take pride in sayin that she paid for it/ Only kinda girl I want/ Independent queen workin for her throne/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it/ Oh when she say/ Uh Uh, I got it, I got it, I got it

[Fabolous]

Don't make me laugh boo/ Never did that bad too/ Make you even have to/ But even if I had to/ Ask my better half to/ You be more than glad to/ When I do that math boo/ You always try to add to/I need someone who'd ride for me/ Not someone who'd ride for free/ She said boy I don't just ride/ She'll pull up beside of me/ I had to ask her what she doin in that caddy/ She said cause you my baby I'd be stuntin like my daddy/ And theres not many, who catch my eye/ We both wearing gucci, she match my fly/ And thats why I, Suppose to keep her closer/ Right by the side, toast and to host her/ And that she went low so, cause you didn't know so/ You can save your money dawg shawty getting dough so/ What she care wit his cars, you can call her miss boss/ I got it backwards, criss cross, shawty got her own/ Got her own/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it/ I love it when she say/ Uh Uh, I got it, I got it, I got it

Getting to know ME: *Raw*

So every so often Imma post different poetry, song lyrics and stuff lettin y'all get to know ME a lil' bit better. So here goes my first getting to know me post....

I wrote this sooooo long ago I don't remember when! I was going thru some things @ this point in my life and I was definitely in depression mode...Over a no good fool. Well I've gotten over this situation, and going thru that only made me stronger and know what to avoid in the future. Read and enjoy!

*RAW*
I feel like I have nothing inside to turn to. So I go outside of me and it hurts to.. Now I'm on empty, feelin' blank like a fresh sheet of paper. Or like a gun with no bullets just clicking away..

Cuz ever since we agreed to be thru and ever since I continued to allow my body to be used.. I still can't help but to find my thoughts leading to u.. Can't imagine myself callin' nobody else my baby. Having emotional breakdowns wishing your love would save me.. From this heartbreak that I endure continually, Not being able to find my voice to speak..

The worst part is knowing that my love was given freely. Like there was no cost involved, just givin' u all of me. Not appreciating the value of what I possessed. So why would I expect u to protect your newly inherited wealth? Instead it was thrown away, Like trash from a party on yesterday. Ingored in a way that caused me to question, Do I have what it takes to be anyone's selection?

The part of me that I gave was my very essence. Going outta my way, treating u special. Giving giving giving until there's nothing left. Letting so much go I have none for myself. Feeling that I'm worthless like in life, I'm out of place. Nothing more to offer, no more than a pretty face. The different emotions ranging from Love to Hate. The extremes felt so often because there's a thin line between. The burn of where my heart used to be, b4 I took it and offered it to u with this plea.. For u to love me I beg u please!

To which u declined and that's why my heart is broken in pieces. And the jagged shards are in ur hand waiting for someone to retrieve them. The pain involved in this thing is trying to put me back together. Finding a solution to this problem feels like a never. Because there were always pieces missing from the beginning. The pieces I need to begin to mend me.

Now there are even more, because when it rains it pours. And on my soul it rained and the flood carried away more.. And these are the reasons why I feel *RAW*

My Addiction: Blueprint 3!!!

OKKKKKKK! So y'all may not know this, but Jay-Z is my BOY!!! I love this man his swagger, his business sense, just everything about him! I am certainly a STAN for Jay! So if you know his discography, you know that he has a couple of classics under his belt, "Reasonable Doubt" and "The Blueprint" to be exact. Well just relax your mind and let your conciense be free because he's coming at you with "Blueprint 3"!!!! The anticipated release date is December 3rd, the day before his birthday. He's expected to be working with Kanye of course amongst others.

Read More on HIPHOPDX.COM

$0 D0p3niqu3: I stay fre$h

Yes Yes Yes I got the shoes!!! YEah for me! They are so hottt! I also crafted an outfit @ the last minute because I could'nt help but wear it the day after I got the shoes (I alwayz do that) It was kinda impromptu, but it came out pretty good. I should be on a design on a dime show for fashion because total w/ the shoes the outfit was $120 except the accessories because it was stuff I had already, with the exception on the scarf, which I got from the best place on earth, TARGET!!!! Check me out yoo and peep the make-up, I kinda made up the lip thing @ the last minute....



Bestie in the background, GUCCI! See her blog!!!

What you know about that!: T.I. clothing line!

As reported by Necole Bitchie, Atlanta bred hip-hop artist T.I. is going to be starting a clothing line amongst other projects. The line is going to be called AKOO (A King Of Oneself) and is set to be revealed at the end of the year. His sixth studio album "Paper Trail" is supposed to be coming out on September 30th. The thing that had me cracking up was his opinion of one that wears his clothing and still can't get the ladies....(lol) read below:

"Fly, Upscale, and Flashy. For the young and sexy or the old and rich. Either way, if you can not provide Swag for yourself, you just holla at me and I will appoint some to you. You buy the clothes and the swags on me. If you find yourself wearing some Akoo and the chick who you wit don’t like it, I’ll replace her with one who does.That’s my personal guarantee. If you can not find a chick in these clothes right here, there is something terribly wrong with you"


Full Story HERE

You done lost your Motha*bleepin* mind!!!: 50 Cent

Read what 50 cent had to say about Jay-Z not being known until he married Beyonce! Is this dude serious?!?! Or does he do this just to get a reaction like this? lol. He like the kid with the glasses and highwaters that wants to be picked for dodgeball, but nobody wants to pick him! Get him outta here!!!
50 Cent is out of his mind!!!

My Addiction!: M.I.A. is the bomb...

"Paper Planes" by M.I.A.

I am reallly reallly diggin this song!!! I love it because it's sooo different. It's so dope that they used it for the "Swagger like us" sample. M.I.A. is the shizznit, Listen to her song "Hussel" feat Afrikan Boy, it's that hot fire like Dylan on Chappelle show!!

Kicks and Giggles (ROTFL)!: Affion is a fool!

Just A lil' sumthin for you to get your ROTFL (rolling on the floor laughing) on!! This is Affion Crockett from Wildin' Out (MTV) Check out his YouTube Channel and SUBSCRIBE!!!!!

$0 D0p3niqu3!: OMG I want these shoes!!!

Ok I'm bored so imma blog for y'all... Man I just gotta show y'all some things that are hott to me! First and foremost I'll start by saying that I am not a tennis shoes and tees type of chick. Nor am I a stillettos and dresses type... I'm kinda like a hybrid of these types. I switch up the style, keep it unpredictable, sharp, sexy, swaggnasty, etc etc. I recently saw these sneakers @ the mall and I tested positive for head-over-heels-itis!! They are Sooooo dope to me I just gotta go cop these!!! 2mrw!!! Peep the chain on the back!!!! They're supposed to be comin out with a shirt to match them, kinda like they did for the AF1's a couple years back...



Soooo now we must find an outfit to accompany these oh sooo hot shoes!!!!

Maybe pair it up with this.....

Where do I buy this stuff????

No Obama shirts @ the polls!!!

So on with the American way which is basically making anything constitutional have a loop-hole to where it's no longer a right that is legal..... What right is that you ask? FREE-SPEECH is what it is. According to reports by many people out there, No Obama shirts, pins or other paraphenalia is permitted when you go to vote on election day. That's right! And why might you ask? Because the Government does'nt want anyone to be influenced by the clothing or advertisement by another person as to who they are going to vote for. Read the post below, which is not necessarily my opinion, but I do agree that there is definitely emphasis on OBAMA shirts because I've not heard of one person rockin McCain (or McClain as some ppl call him G.L. lol) gear @ ALL!

I mean, but America as a whole can't take it when a person feels very strongly about a subject, nevertheless a black man becoming president. Take for instance the Ludacris joint "Politics" . Obama caught mad flack for the way someone else was showing their support of him, so much so that he had to say he had nothing to do with it... Crazy do'h. *shaking my head* WELL! All I got to say about it is Obama '08 bruh and I'm out!


"PLEASE ADVISE EVERYONE YOU KNOW THAT THEY ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT GO TO THE POLLS WEARING ANY OBAMA SHIRTS, PINS OR HATS. IT IS AGAINST THE LAW AND WILL BE GROUNDS TO HAVE THE POLLING OFFICIALS TO TURN YOU AWAY.

THAT IS CONSIDERED CAMPAIGNING AND NO ONE CAN CAMPAIGN WITHIN X AMOUNT OF FEET TO THE POLLS. THEY ARE BANKING ON US BEING EXCITED AND NOT BEING AWARE OF THIS LONG STANDING LAW THAT YOU CAN BET WILL BE ENFORCED THIS YEAR!

THEY ARE BANKING THAT IF YOU ARE TURNED AWAY YOU WILL NOT GO HOME AND CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. PLEASE JUST DON'T WEAR OBAMA GEAR OF ANY SORTS TO THE POLLS!! PLEASE SHARE THIS INFORMATION."

My first post for y'all!

Now this is not really my first blog on a website, just my first here... Lemme introduce myself, my name is Marshay aka ShayB aka ShaybeRae aka Catwoman (don't you wanna know the story behing that!) aka Rae' Wil aka a whole lotta other stuff. They say it ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to that matters and those are some of my aliases lol I'm 22 yrs. old and I have an intrests in journalism, photography, fashion design, plus-size modeling,and anything media related in a nutshell. I am currently into reading blogs blogs blogs and more blogs! Entertainment, music, fashion and pretty much anything else that humors me. So you will see YouTube clips, Links to other blogs and whatever tickles MY fancy because it's my DAMN BLOG!!! So read on baby!

Sooo I'm on HipHopDx.com (a place that has many many many fabulous reviews and editorials) and they had these pants showcased in the fashion section also known as TheEvilCollector.com. The pants are a fully functional keyboard that can be used instead of the keyboard on your computer, because you're too good to use that are'nt you!

Computer Keyboard Pants!!!!