Guess God was tryna tell me something...

Man, I can't believe this
I'm not supposed to be living like this
I'm messed up

Thought it was fun,Thought I could do what I want
And I, thought I was grown and could make it on my own,I thought no one really understands me
And, even though home, I feel so alone
I thought, like do what cha you feel like doing no one cares anyway maybe then someone will notice you.

Now how I ended up where I am? I don't knowI never planned on being here (and now I see what the problem is)
The devil tempted me and I was drawn away.
But I have no desire to stay! Oh!!Got to get out of here (I'm coming home father)
I got to get out of here
I wanna be with you

Can't believe what I got myself in to,Thought I had everything under control, (guess not)
I didn't realize the whole time,That the enemy had plans to destroy my life, (try to take me out)
Father please wont you have mercy on me (please)
Please forgive me and restore you joy.
I can't imagine staying here until I die
I got to get back to your side (I wanna be with you father, now I realize)
The devil tempted me and I was drawn away.
But I have no desire to stay! Oh!!

Got to get out of hereI got to get out of hereI wanna be with you(Father I know I messed up but I'm asking you to please! Take me back)
Got to get out of here (I repent father)
I got to get out of here (Yah! I'm coming home)
I wanna be with you…(I wanna be with you Jesus, anyone want to be with the Lord? Here we go sing)
Got to get out of here (Ohhhoohh)
I got to get out of hereI wanna be with you (please take me back [x3]… I'm sick of this stuff)
Got to get out of here (pleassse)
I got to get out of here (I'm sick of my old ways)
I wanna be with you (I want to be with you, take me back Lord I am ready for change)
Got to get out of here (pleassse)
I got to get out of here (anyone going back to the father house with me)
I wanna be with you (come on and go with me [x3]… with me to the Fathers house lets go)

Laid up in da bed... Why am I awake!!!

So I'm layin in the bed listening to Musiq Soulchild on my lil zune pillow at the moment, chillin like a mug. But why the hell have I been up since 5:45??? That has been happening 4 the last 2 nights just can't get back 2 sleep... Maybe God is tryna tell me sumthin, "WhoKnows"? Lol. I have a job fair to go to today. Oh yea just in case I didn't tell u I am currently unemployed, but I will be getting a job soon and very soon baby. I don't wanna be stuck on the phone doing customer service again though man... I did get an offer from DSW that'd b cool though. And I'm temping too hopefully that works out for a sista. I think imma look into some creative writing classes or sumthin, look into some freelancing of some sort. I'd love to do something where creativity, individuality were the axis on which the job operated. That'd b the coolest. Photography, make up artist, music, design I do
some things, but I have a lot to learn. I put in work tho baby!! Well this is actually making me sleepy so goodbye. *kisses*

OH YES!!! IfULeave Musiq Soulchild feat. Mary J. Blige

Two of my favorite singers, especially MARY! She is looking soo good these days!! Better than some chicks 10 yrs younger!

I love the concept of them talking to their own significant others not each other, what a fresh concept!

"Try Again", a post inspired by life....

Ahhhhh this song just says so many things to me man. There have been so many times when I myself have found myself in the position of the one "trying again". The question that this songs sparks in my mind is, but @ what cost to me??? What am I sacrificing for this person and was it really worth it in the first place. Case in point, a man I was talking to just had it all, just perfect! He was going to school to get his PhD., very very very smart, intellectual, articulate and he was sooo beautiful. Just massive amounts of potential... We hit it off really well, wonderful conversation, just a great guy.

He had some family issues going on that he needed to get squared away so I gave him his space, you know. I know he was going thru a lot at the time because this was like a major thing going on with his family. I'd call and check up on him, just anything to try to get that intial spark going into a blaze. In the meantime I talked to other people, which was over the course of a month or so. So we never really conversed AT ALLL after our initial conversation.

So long story short we had one of those "first-time-I-said-no-it's-like-I never-said-yes" situations that got blown way outta porportion. And at first I was so kicking myself in the pants because I wanted him. Everything his future and potential promised him to be. I blew up his phone that night!!! I called him like 20+ times, which I have never done b4! But then I turned my attention to the potential stumbling blocks...

If he could be self absorbed and selfish enough to turn the whole thing on me and not take any accountability for the lack of communication and interaction I choose to pass... It was'nt worth the heartache and bs I would have to cope with, just to have the most intelligent, sexy, intelligent man I have encountered in my life lol.

Well I've said enough, Do you have any "Try Again" situtations???

"Try Again" Raheem DeVaughn

Try Again
by yardie4lifever2



I thought id hear your voice (hello, hello, hello)
But instead the operator says your number's changed
My apologies (my apologies)
Please forgive me please
For I've been selfish and I'm to blame
If I could reverse the years (If I could reverse the years)
To take back all the tears
I'd rewrite the screenplay
But life don't work that way (what you mean it don't work that way?)
So lonely here I lay
Wishing you was still my lady
[Chorus:]When it's not easy to walk away (try, try, try, try again)
When you don't really mean what you say (try, try, try, try again)
When you feel incomplete
Don't you go losing sleep
I think you should try again
Can we try again?
Try again

The perfume you used to wear (the sweet perfume you used to wear)
Sometimes I smell it in the air... and do a double take
And sometimes I play your song (sometimes I play your song)
Just to dance along
Just to cut the pain
Please forget me not (don't forget, don't forget, don't forget, don't forget me)
If ever you should tie the knot
Or just find somebody new
I hope this rights the wrongs that I've done
See I composed this song
Cause it's hell without you.

[Chorus]

See winter's too cold without you
Summer too lonely without you
And I can't stop thinking about you
Can we try again?
Oh fall that's when we met
Spring it was times I can't forget
My Cinderella, my Juliet
Can we try again?

The biggest greatest smile.

Your golden brown visage brings the most immense joy induced by a human being. Your essence permeates my very being infiltrating me to the core, makes me wanna sing. Sweet sweet melodies, sweeping me off my feet. Feet off the ground, swept off my feet. I'm on cloud 99 not 9, that aint high enough. My soul unravels and flutters at the sight. The way I feel now can't nobody kill this high. No buzz, no food nor drug can propel me to this stratosphere. Your aura of regality the most seducing atmosphere. No touch can compete with the way u got me feel-ling... All from the privlege of beholding the biggest, greatest smile.
~ShayBraeB08(c)

Not the one

Baby this relationship has run its course
So I gotta let you go, to stay it would be forced
Love is a delicate thing so imma tell u this once
That you can't keep me here no matter how much you want
If you ever loved me you'd just let go
Because if I come back then that's how you'd know
That it was meant to be, a you and me
But, for the time being I gotta do this for me
Its not any fault of your own I gotta move on
Because I know deep in my heart that you're not the one
So rather than pretend or just play along
Looking the part but not real, a perfect mirage
We need to separate and go our different paths
Because love is a permanent bond meant to last
I don't wanna pull at your heart strings anymore
It may not seem like it hurts me but trust me it hurts more
I've simply reconciled to the facts so stark and plain
That true love does'nt wait for time or play games
Our love, not really love, certainly categorized as lust
Had us gassed up blazing the trail straight into unhappiness
So long story short I need the one tailor-made for Marshay
And you need the one with your rib to walk your way
So enough is enough the charade is over
No more time to play games
I'm moving on, finally my mind is sober
And I hope u do the same

~ShayBraeB08(c)

Be ShayBe...

I have many many many nicknames that have been given to me over the years. The one I commonly use is Shaybe in some variation or form, ShayBraeB, Shayberaebaby, or ShayB. Everyone always asks me what does that mean? Shay be what?!? Lol, and I'm always like I dunno, because I've always just been Shaybe... I heard something the other down that gave me some meaning for this name that I've carried my entire life... Shay Be Yourself, Be ShayBe. Be what God made you to be. My name broken down. And this gave me so much revelation and purpose into what I've heard trillions and trillions of times. BE YOURSELF! My friend quotes this all the tyme "I'd rather be original, than die a copy". So this will be the alias I'm going under for this blog and the meaning that I plan to carry throughout the rest of my existence.

Getting to know me: XANGA!

Welcome to my getting to know me post!! This is to show that I'm So I told u guys that this was'nt my first blog!! Click the link to see my first baby

Also see some of my early work I was a lil cuss boxx lol this was 3 YEARS AGO!!! Crazy huh????

Sunday, August 14, 2005
Boy you're not worth my tears or time/ you and your lame ass lines/ but yet I took it time after time/ Oops my bad on my part/ I let you break my heart but you just made me a lil bit more smart/ Your game was fucked up/ All them times that you hung up on me/ And you thought you was still gettin' some bootee?/ No you got the game all fucked up and twisted/ Pimpology 101 was you in class or did you miss it?/ A real man knows how to handle his/ You're still a fuckin' boy you either hit or miss/ You play the same childish games, they're all the same/ That's why I won't pick the phone up when I see your name......
Another one off the top of my head from my heart to you.....
8/14/2005 Marshay Rae' Wilson

I'm feelin' it: Beyonce is a freaking genius for this!!!!

Beyonce is a freaking genius for this!!!! If she's doing what it looks like she is doing then I will appreciate her genius that much more! Now for those of you who did'nt know Beyonce is not the only one that capatilizies off of her sucess as a multi-platinum recording artist! No there is also Sasha, Bey's alter ego that takes the ride along with her on the daily! Well rumor is that she is releasing her upcoming cd as a double disc entitled "I am" to be unleashed on December, 18th featuring songs from both Beyonce and Sasha... This is said to be her most personal release as of late. Can u say T.I. vs T.I.P.????

Don't get me wrong I got MAD love for Bey and Sasha son!! This idea is definitely a fantasic one especially for an artist of Beyonce's caliber. Recently I was confused like why is she releasing 2 singles and videos back 2 back??? But now it makes perfect sense!!! Check out the video's on deck!!!

• Beyoncé
• New Music

I think that Sasha Beyonce is a bad bitch for wearin that leotard and dancin her tail off the whole damn video!! Her dancing and vocal skills are off the hook. The single ladies song is very catchy and WILL be hot in the club but lacks the major substance that Beyonce is claiming to be moving towards… “Like A Boy” certainly makes up for that though, it has great lyrics and the imagery shown along with the lyrics bring more depth to the song….

• Beyoncé
• New Music

If she's doing a dual personality album that'll be very interesting to see, because she is definitely going to capaitalize off of the people that want to see both sides of her....

Has swag gone too far?????

Sooo today I went out of town to pick up my cousin from WSU. On the way down the highway while doing 80 mph in a 65 (lol), I spot a Red Eclipse coasting down the highway in the lane next to me. As the vehicle approached me I got a glimpse of the people in it and it was two white chicks that looked like they were probably about 19, 20 years old. As the car zipped by me, I looked at the back windshield, because the red writing on the glass grabbed my attention... It screamed at me "SWAG SO RIGHT BITCH!". This caused me to immediately pick up my blackberry curve to call my bff to let her know what I had just witnessed. I was laughing so hard that I could barely recall what digits I needed to dial.....!


****FOR INTENTS AND PURPOSES THE WORD "SWAGGER" WILL ONLY BE REFFERED TO AS "THE WORD" IN THIS POST!!!****
(I'm tryna wean myself off of "THE WORD" lol)

Well I just know if the THE WORD or the many alternate forms of it are getting on your last nerve. To me that was the straw that broke the camels back 2day lol. Just the sight of that caused me to be thrown overboard lol. As I've seen on a couple of other blogs, I think we need to replace "THE WORD" because it's getting old to me! The english language has many many synonyms for "THE WORD" and I think we should try those!!! It started wearing on me when Diddy used it ever so excessively on MTB4 and the many swagger songs (damn I said "THE WORD"!!) that follwed... What y'all think???????
_______________________________________________

1,304 images on Photobucket tagged to swagger..
4,660 videos tagged on YouTube ...

@ least one book "Advance your swagger" by Fonzworth Bentley....

Too many damn shirts and pieces of apparel to count.....
4,810,000 results on "THE WORD" from Google and this is ONE MORE! lol
______________________________________

P.S. MISS INFO HAD ME DYIN OVER THIS COMMENT SHE MADE ABOUT A LITTLE PEACE OF HER SOUL DIES EVERY TIME SHE SAYS "THE WORD" LMAO!

Kicks and giggles (ROTFL)!: Wild'n Out: Katt Williams

WILD'N OUT! Does this joint still come on??? I don't know for real cuz I don't watch TV all like that no more. Imma have plenty of time 4 that in the next week or two, because I'm currently unemployed, by choice though I ain't get fired! We'll talk later bout that! But this show had some hilarious moments on it. This video is one that someone took the time to compile some of the funniest moments featuring Katt Williams. This dude is silly as a mug, ENJOY!!!

I'm feelin it : "La La" Tha Carter III

So first off while I'm talkin about Wayne I must mention the fact that some of his actions that disturb me lol. Mainly being the newest song release "Swagger jackin from us" along with Jim Jones and Juelz Santana. The only thing I'll talk about is the fact that the man was on the original "Swagger like us"! That perplexes me to no avail... The swagger jackin thing will be our next post though. I wanna say that I'm not on the Lil Wayne bandwagon, nor am I a hater, but I think he's kinda crazy and has personal problems. I will say that this dude was spittin on that metaphorical shit in this song for real... Whoever wrote this was not on earth, they were on some me, myself and I, outta this world type of shit. lol. Take a listen and see if you can follow the man.....

Excuse me!!!

I gotta find a new background when I get home so in the meantime I apologize 4 u having to look @ the bandwidth exceeded message!!! Peace love and sooouuulll!

I'm feelin' it: "She Got Her Own"

Ahhhh yessss!!! My favorite new soooonnnggg! I love this video and song sooo very much!!! The words are so uplifting and true to me in a sense! I believe that there is a certain degree of dependence that a woman should have in a man, but you must also have something of your own. I am NOT the gold digging type in any way shape or form. I would'nt take advantage of a man even if he let me... Trust me I've been in the position to abuse the privilege! Chivilary is not truly dead I see glimmers of it everyday from a man holding the door, the one pulling out the door. So men please don't take a woman's stance of independence as a "she don't need me..". Embrace the fact that she has her own thing going on and cover her because from a woman who has "her own", I do need Y-O-U!!

[Jamie Foxx]

I love her cause she got her own/ She don't need mine, so she leave mine alone/ There ain't nothing in this world sexy/ Than a girl that want but don't need me/ Young independent, yea she work hard/ But you can tell from the way that she walk/ She don't slow down cause she ain't got time/ To be complaining, shawty gon shine/ She don't expect nothing from no guy/ She plays agressive, but she still shy / But you never know her softer side/ By lookin in her eyes/ The way she can do for herself/ Makes me wanna give her my wealth/ Only kinda girl I want/ Independent queen workin for her throne/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it

[Ne-Yo]

(I love this whole verse!)

I love it cause she got her own/ She don't need mine, so she leave mine alone/ There ain't nothin thats more sexy/ Than a girl that want, but don't need me/ Lovely face/ Nice thick thighs/ Plus she got drive that matches my drive/ Sexy Thang/ She's McFly/ All the while payin the bills on time/ She don't look at me like Captain Save Em/ Gold Diggin, no she don't do that/ No she look at me like inspiration/ She wanna be complimentin my swag/ And everything she got, she work for it, good life made for it/ She take pride in sayin that she paid for it/ Only kinda girl I want/ Independent queen workin for her throne/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it/ Oh when she say/ Uh Uh, I got it, I got it, I got it

[Fabolous]

Don't make me laugh boo/ Never did that bad too/ Make you even have to/ But even if I had to/ Ask my better half to/ You be more than glad to/ When I do that math boo/ You always try to add to/I need someone who'd ride for me/ Not someone who'd ride for free/ She said boy I don't just ride/ She'll pull up beside of me/ I had to ask her what she doin in that caddy/ She said cause you my baby I'd be stuntin like my daddy/ And theres not many, who catch my eye/ We both wearing gucci, she match my fly/ And thats why I, Suppose to keep her closer/ Right by the side, toast and to host her/ And that she went low so, cause you didn't know so/ You can save your money dawg shawty getting dough so/ What she care wit his cars, you can call her miss boss/ I got it backwards, criss cross, shawty got her own/ Got her own/ I love her cause she got her own/ She got her own/ I love it when she say/ Its cool I got it, I got it, I got it/ I love it when she say/ Uh Uh, I got it, I got it, I got it