Please excuse me guys, the internet fu*kery entry will be up soon! But as any other night, like many of you, I am layin in the bed thinking. I have a certain someone that I am talking to that I've taken up an interest in. And I know that he likes me too. He's actually a very very good guy. He listens when I have problems, I listen when he has his. He is very polite and strictly a gentleman. Sounds great 4 ur gurl right? Wellllllll here's the problem, I kinda feel like its 2 good 2 be true, like I don't deserve it and right now I'm not wanting to let go of doing me, but I can feel the end of this form of selfishness coming 2 an end. I want to "Share My World" give a part of me 2 someone else and expect the same in return. Actually to give my all to a man... But I won't make any steps 2 do so because I'm scared to just lose control, or the so-called-upperhand in the situation. This
pattern of behavior hasn't failed me yet, according to what I know, but I think I will be messed up in 2 months when he's with another chick and I'm still alone. By alone I mean desiring a companion to fufill my emotional, spiritual, physical needs. Which he does in a way... The thing I don't wanna do is RUSH which I can say I've been taking it super slow on this. I'm really tryna play my cards smart and not make a mistake. Because in this case its a heart @ stake. I'm scared that umma fuck up, although I know that past behavior is simply the past and that I can't use it as a mesuaring stick. As a person that is constantly maturing, I do my damndest not to repeat stuff and learn my lesson. Well more later! Holla @ me!!
